That's hard to believe. I'm not sure where the month of April went. We did have some milestone moments since I last blogged, though. I believe it was the first day of Spring, March 21st that I got my first voluntary goodnight kiss. JP started pre-K at N's preschool and has loved it. I remember her second day, she ran out the door with N and Daddy, and paused briefly to look back and shout, "I lub you, Mommy!"
I think we are finally evening out a bit in the affection department. She started out completely resistant to it. She swung the other way once we got home and was utterly smothering in her need to be constantly hanging on me. That was rough for me, particularly first thing in the morning when I reeeeeeally need my personal space. But now, she is very affectionate without being over the top. She loves to hold my hand and give hugs, but she's no longer acting as a third leg attached to my personage all day long. She's also very affectionate with our family and friends, and it has been interesting trying to explain the difference between friends that are ok to hug, and random strangers that I might smile and speak to in passing. The other day at Panera, I was taking JP to the restroom, and a lady smiled at us and said, "Your daughters are beautiful." I smiled and thanked her, and apparently, JP took that to mean that we were now buddies. As we walked past the woman's table, JP reached out and brushed her face with her hand. I quickly intercepted, but the woman was very gracious. I tried to explain to JP that we don't touch people we don't know, and so far, it seems the message has gone through. Still, any time we have friends over or she sees familiar faces at church, that person better be ready for a bear hug! I'm very thankful that she is responding well to our family and friends.
I have also tried occasionally peppering in the use of the name we gave her (her first name) in addition to the name she was given when she arrived at the orphanage. I showed her how N has two names, and explained that we gave her another name so that she could have two as well. The other day, she used the magnetic letters on the easel to spell out the name we picked, and went around chanting it all day! Obviously, at five years old, if she wants to be called by her given name, that is totally fine with us. We just wanted to let her become familiar with the name we picked as well, and make her own decision. I want her to view it as a gift, rather than feeling like we are trying to take away the one thing she brought with her... her name. She seems to be responding to both names now, so we will see where that goes.
All in all, attachment is coming along a little bit at a time. I still feel very exasperated much of the time, mainly because the girls have wasted no time jumping straight into full blown sibling rivalry. Two girls, 13 months apart, both strong willed. It gets a little wild around here. JP is definitely the instigator, and N retaliates spectacularly. Cue tattling. It has been interesting to see them find their balance. N definitely acts like the first born in most ways, even though she is younger. They both really enjoy trying to boss the other one around. Gracious. Let's just say there are plenty of opportunities for them to learn to navigate conflict and resolution. Thankfully, hearing other moms of multiples talk (whether adopted or bio), this sounds like completely normal sibling interactions, so I'm not too fussed about it. I'm annoyed, but not worried. =)
Last night, as I was hugging JP goodnight, she asked me to pray with her. My heart just about melted. It is a blessing to have those sweet moments to remind me that being a mother is about beauty in the middle of the mess. It's definitely the toughest job I will ever have, but my girls are worth it.
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