Immeasurably More

Setback after setback.  Delay after delay.  Battle after battle.  Oh, how weary my soul has been.  As I prayed today that we would pass the final electrical inspection (which we're still waiting on the inspector to show up for), I just began quoting every single Scripture I could think of.  I knew I needed my armor on, and the only offensive weapon in that armor is the Sword of the Spirit... the Word of God.  So I spoke it out loud, as many as came to mind.  And I waited.

The phone rang.

Our foreman called to say that the director of codes (whom I left a message for yesterday) had stopped by the house, and said that tomorrow he would bring us a 30 day temporary certificate of occupancy.

Bless the LORD, O my soul.

I asked for a miracle, and after a time of suffering, He gave an even bigger one than I requested.  Oh, how He gives good gifts!

On the adoption front, we got some news this morning that the foreign court has reported that the bank "returned" our check.  The bank has no record of this.  The funds are still there.  We are not sure what the mix up is, and are waiting to hear, but whatever it is, I know a way will be made.  Our God will come through.  He keeps parting seas and moving mountains.  He won't stop now.  So for now, we rejoice!  And we continue to pray without ceasing, believing that our great God goes before and behind.  Blessed be the Name of the LORD!

Broken

Oh, how my heart cries for peace.  We are so close to the finish, and the battle has gotten fiercer than I could possibly have imagined.  From rain and mud, to one little delay after another, to failed inspections, and then a massive blow... one of the people working on the house nearly losing her life in a horrible car accident on the way home from work last night.  I am devastated for her and her family.  And while we are even more grateful for our physical well being after all that, I am keenly aware that my family is less than two weeks away from Christmas, and within a few days after that, we will have no place to live if we can't move into the house.  We keep praying and begging for miracles, and the Lord has provided our daily manna, but interspersed between all of those miracles, the enemy is constantly chipping away, and then sometimes lands massive blows.

At this point, we are hoping to retry for our final electrical inspection on Monday, and then basically throw ourselves on the mercy of the county, explain our situation, and pray that they are either willing to give us our CO or go ahead and move in without it until the weather cooperates for us to do the final concrete and blocking for the retaining wall.  I did speak with the inspector responsible for passing the grading, and after hearing our situation, told me he would do everything he can to help us get in the house.  That was so encouraging, and the Lord knew how badly I needed a word of encouragement.

I just don't even know how I am functioning at this point, aside from God's grace.  I have no words left.  I have nights when I cry until I can't breathe, but much of the time, I just feel numb.  Like I've just shut down because I can't process it all.  And I just keep putting my head down and jumping through hoops, trying to do whatever I need to do to help my family get home, so we can bring her home.  Oh Jesus, we need you to fight for us now.  We need you to carry us.  We need you to move the mountains.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand. 

Aaaaand breathe

Yes, that is what I need to do right now: breathe.  Breathe and trust.  I am trying to be efficient (with undertones of panic) these days.  So many amazing things have happened.  I've seen so many mountains moved.  Still, it seems like some days, my faith is the tiniest of mustard seeds, but even at that, He has never failed to bless when I bring what little I have.

We closed on the house in town this past Tuesday, November 26.  We had desperately prayed that we would at least have a contract on the house by Thanksgiving, and we closed two days before, for more than our asking price.  Definitely a miracle. 

On the adoption front, things were not as simple as wiring the fee and being done with it, but many phone calls and emails later, I was finally able to mail our court document and fee today, along with the photo book I made for JP.

The horrible suspense factor in all of this is surprisingly not adoption related.  At this point, we are simply waiting on written court documents and her passport, and then we are ready to go as far as Ind*a is concerned.  The certificate of occupancy on the farmhouse, however, seems to always be the dangling carrot rather than the reality.  We had first anticipated moving in October after closing on the land May 1st, but major delays on breaking ground made that impossible.  Then, the goal was the end of November.  Obviously, that is about to come and go.  Then, it was the first or second week of December.  We will be lucky to be in by mid-December.  We have to be in by mid-December.  Because the reality is, we can't travel until we have moved.  Our lease is up at the end of December.  And we're darn close to running into holiday hangups with the county.  

I believe that there is plan in all of this, but I am completely in the dark on it.  I have no idea why it is working out this way, no idea why it is necessary to cut it so close that I am about to chew my fingernails to the quick.  All I know to do is take it a day at a time and trust that manna will be given.  One minute I hear, "We'll make it!" and the next, "Don't get your hopes up."  Well, hope is all I have.  It's all I've had for a long time.  If I lose that, I've lost everything.  But hope can be exhausting when it's stretched so thin you can see through it.  There's not much left.  Normally, I would be playing Christmas music and decorating the tree today, the day after Thanksgiving.  But I'm not.  I'm sitting in a drafty apartment bedroom wondering when I will get to celebrate being home with my little family.  It's not about a building.  It's about a place that's ours, our own little safe haven where I can nest and create, and make things beautiful.  This is the desert.  This is limbo.  The Promised Land is within sight, but there is one more sea to cross.  And there is only One who can part the waters.       

JP is officially ours!!!!!!

I'm going to have to come back at some point and write something poetic about all of this, but at the moment, I am completely overwhelmed with emotion.  The only reason I am functioning at all is by the grace of God.

As if yesterday's miracle wasn't enough, the blessings just keep getting poured out on us.  I woke up to an email this morning that said, "Good news; the adoption order was passed this morning."

Umm... excuse me?

Yes, that's right.  Our orphanage filed our case with the local court this morning, AND THEY PASSED IT IMMEDIATELY.  We were granted full adoption rights, and the written documents will be released after the final fee is wired to the court.  After yesterday's news, I was fairly confident we would travel by the spring.  Now, it looks like it will be in the next 4-8 weeks.  Talk about a Christmas gift!

I am floored, blown away, overjoyed, and completely overwhelmed.  At this point, we are frantically working to finish what needs to be done to get the certificate of occupancy on our house.  That should happen by the end of the month, or the first of December.  We have to move before we travel, because the last thing our sweet JP needs is to be brought into the chaos of a move on top of entering an entirely new culture, family, and language, all with new and different sights, sounds, smells, and experiences.  No, she deserves to come home to a safe haven, not a nut house. =)  So please pray with us that we get that certificate by the end of the month so we have no other obstacles keeping us from bringing our precious girl home.

Along with the flurry of paperwork and house responsibilities, I am also hoping to find out clothing/shoe sizes, and other pertinent information.  Something tells me she won't be bringing any winter items with her!  I'd give my eye teeth for a personal assistant right now, but I'm just going to have to make really good lists, and do my best to compartmentalize like my husband does.  He is slammed with work right now, which is both great and really hard, so I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of solo parenting with N while I try to manage adoption and house responsibilities.  Please pray.  We are thrilled, but there is a LOT that needs to happen before we get on a plane for India.  

Thank you to all of you who are rejoicing with us because of this incredible news.  What an awesome God we serve!!  Seriously... this is unheard of in India adoption: we were expecting more like three months to pass court.  But we've had ARC, NOC, and now passing court within 24 hours.  Absolutely amazing.  He was not kidding when He said "It's time to walk forward."   I can't believe that was only 72 hours ago.  Wow.  Just, wow.

Can I just say that it is mind blowing that there is now officially another little Baby S in the world?

ARC and NOC!!!

If you haven't read the post I wrote 36 hours ago, read it now.  He wasn't kidding.  =)

Yes, after a crazy miracle yesterday with two buyers getting into a bidding war for our house in town (wow!), I went to bed fully expecting another miracle today.  

My eyes opened and I snuggled down into the comforter against the cold.  I reached for my Bible and read my morning devotional, which was from Isaiah 12:

In that day you will say: "Give praise to the LORD, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted.  Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world."

Then I checked my email.

And there it was.  The message saying we had both ARC (state) and NOC (federal) approval!  I just kept reading the attached document, but I could hardly see it through my tears.  I'm confident that I scared Husband silly when I flew into his office with tears streaming down my cheeks squealing, "Did you see it!?!"  Our orphanage is filing our case with the court tomorrow.  We don't know for sure how long it will take (the NOC doc says no more than two months...), but my hope is that we will travel by the spring.  We waited five months for an approval that was supposed to take five days, but our great God does glorious things.  Oh yes!  Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Stirring the waters

Something is stirring.  I can feel it in my soul.  I haven't seen it with my physical eyes yet, but my spirit eyes have found a pin prick of light in this dark night of the soul.  For so long I've joined the Psalmist in soaking my bed with tears.  Grief is deep and consuming, friends.  He was with me.  I felt his tears, rested my cheek against his broken heart.

But something has changed.  This past week or two, I've been taken back to some places in the Scripture where the Lord led me just before we heard about JP.  He's grown me, loved me, shown me again that when I'm stretched with the ache of waiting, He fills the space with more of his Spirit, with Thanksgiving.  And something has changed.  The message has changed.  It's as though He has suddenly flipped the switch from a time of grieving and crying out, to saying, "Stand up.  It's time to walk forward."

Think maybe I sound whacky?  

At church this morning, I shared that feeling with a friend and mentor who has been so faithful to pray for me and encourage me these past months.  As soon as I finished, she said, "I just read that this morning in Exodus!  Just before God parted the Red Sea!"  I got to my Bible as quickly as I could and, sure enough, there it was.  How had I missed it before?

Just as the Egyptians were about to ride down upon the despairing Israelites and take them back into bondage, I saw a familiar verse:

Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today...The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

I've prayed that one many times.  But then...

Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me?  Tell the Israelites to move on.  Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground." 

There is most definitely a time for crying out.  But now it is time to move: through praying, fasting, believing, preparing for the way to be made to the Promised Land where we will gather our children and bring them home.  

I can hear the waters stirring.

In the cleft of the rock

I get so frustrated with myself for being stressed.  I know that in those moments, even if my circumstances totally validate the difficulty I am facing, my reaction to it in stress and worry is a reflection of where I am looking: at the mountain instead of its Maker.  Now, I'm not minimizing suffering or saying this isn't hard, so let's be clear on that.  It's agonizing.  But when I'm having a physical reaction to the stress, constantly feeling anxious, and worrying that if I don't make this happen, it never will... well, I don't like seeing those things about myself, but sometimes, I just have to face realities for what they are.

I've been reading "1,000 Gifts"... again... because I have to constantly refocus my gaze on Him, on thanksgiving, these days.  These moments.  This is a time when eucharisteo is a moment-by-moment battle.  But as I read last night, she wrote of Moses and one of my favorite moments in the Bible, when he asked to see God's glory.  The Lord hid him in the cleft of the rock and covered him with His hand as He passed by, and then Moses looked and saw His back.

"It is in the dark that God is passing by.  The bridge and our lives shake not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite: God is passing by.  God is in the tremors.  Dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by.  In the blackest, God is closest, at work, forging His perfect and right will.  Though it is black and we can't see and our world seems to be free-falling and we feel utterly alone, Christ is most present to us, I-beam supporting in earthquake.  Then He will remove His hand.  Then we will look.  Then we look back and see His back."

    

I am in the cleft of the rock.  Perhaps it is not such a frightening place to be after all.  Could I even- is it possible?- could I not only accept the dark, but be excited about the tremors?  Anticipate the free-fall?  Trust whole-heartedly, because giving thanks reminds me of all the times He has shown his glory?  And when the light shines through again and I look back... oh, what a glorious sight I shall see.

Approximate time frames

I've had a lot of friends and family asking about timelines for bringing JP home from this point.  While nothing is guaranteed in adoption, and time frames can vary greatly from region to region, I do have some ballpark estimates that our agency gave us earlier this year.  Type A friends, enjoy the list, and then embrace whatever inkling there might be of Type B in your brain, because these estimates can and do change all the time.  Trust me, I'm breathing deeply with you.

ARC, state level approval: No one knows, but we're hoping for movement soon.

NOC, "No Objection Certificate" given by the federal government of Ind*a: 8-16 weeks, but based on the news from our orphanage, we believe ours will basically be immediately after ARC approval since C&RA has already processed our case.

Case is filed with the local court: Their guidelines say within 15 days of NOC

Court passes case: 8-16 weeks (can vary greatly)

Written court orders sent to orphanage: 2-4 weeks after passing court (can vary greatly)

Orphanage applies for JP's passport: approximately 4 weeks (you guessed it... can vary greatly)

C&RA issues Article 23: should be happening simultaneously with the passport.

Travel!

Hope that helps a bit!  Obviously, there is a lot of room for flexibility.  Once we get past ARC, I am hoping that we will be within 3-4 months of traveling since NOC has already been processed.  We shall see!

Hope In The Waiting

We are still waiting for ARC at 17 weeks, not exactly the record I was hoping to set for our agency.  I don't know all the details of why the ARC is sitting on about 72 cases right now, and what I do know, I can't share publicly.  Let's just say there is a big political/legal stink, and unfortunately, children and families who have nothing to do with it have been caught in the middle.  A court case has been heard this week, and there are more yet to come that may have an effect on the situation, but we are cautiously hopeful that we will begin to see movement soon.  Of course, cautiously hopeful sometimes translates to, "I'll believe it when I see it," depending on the day hour.

Thankfully, we did get some very unexpected, wonderful news from our agency yesterday.  Our orphanage director applied for our NOC (federal approval) at the same time they applied for ARC (state approval) back in June.  I didn't even know that was possible, but I kind of love this guy for doing it.  He emailed our agency yesterday and said that our NOC has already been processed!  C&RA can't give us official approval until we have cleared ARC, but once that happens, our understanding is that official NOC will be immediate.  That is extremely encouraging considering we were expecting to wait 1-3 months for it after ARC.  With all of the bureaucracy and maddening red tape, it is so wonderful to know that there are indeed officials and people in the position to help in Ind*a who truly care about putting kids in families.  I wanted to believe that from the start, but when everything seems to take so much longer than it should, it is a breath of fresh air to see people working tenaciously and proactively on our daughter's behalf.

So for now, we wait.  There should be a roof on our house by the end of the weekend, which is a long awaited victory as well.  Perhaps now, the weather at least will not be such a volatile factor in dictating our progress.  We are still praying and working hard to have our certificate of occupancy by Thanksgiving, or shortly thereafter.  I am beyond ready for a place to call home, for a little stability, and to be centered in one safe haven rather than being constantly torn between different locations.  Pray with us for favor, for no more delays, and for supernatural strength and peace as we ride out the last tumultuous weeks of this crazy year.  What a story this will be.         

Compassion: To Suffer Alongside

This post probably won't be interesting for those looking for an exciting update.  I don't have one.  I don't have anything to report, as a matter of fact.  We've been waiting 15 weeks and counting for ARC approval - a process that, according to India's guidelines, is supposed to take five days for SN cases.  They may want to rethink that number, or maybe just get on the ball.  Yeah, that would be fantastic.

At this point, on this night, my heart hurts so much that I simply have no words for it, only groanings.  There is no platitude, or even solid Scripture that can take away the aching.  To those who constantly feel the need to make sure that I haven't lost faith, or somehow forgotten that "his timing is perfect," or "God is in control," never fear: My faith is secure.  But let's just say that from this moment on, that is to be understood, and we can all admit with absolutely no hint of guilt that waiting to bring your child home from the other side of the world STINKS.  It HURTS like hell; it is hell.  It's utter and complete separation from one that we love more than words can express.  It's trying to process the confusion of adoring and fighting like crazy for a child we've never met, yet still not quite feeling attached to her like we do to N because... well... we've never met, and it all seems so surreal after nearly two years of this madness.  To quote one of my favorite movies, "I feel as though my skin is the only thing keeping me from going everywhere at once."

I don't understand why this has to take so long.  I do know that I am bone tired of this rigamarole.  I am confident that the Lord is orchestrating something so very beautiful.  But in the meantime, I am thankful beyond measure for those of you who have been willing to let me cry on your shoulder guilt-free, who have wrapped me in your arms and wept freely with me, and who have stood with me through the dark night when there is no sign of the morning.  What a gift you have given me in allowing me the freedom to enter into suffering without hiding the pain, in suffering with me.  Even in suffering, there is reason to give thanks.  So to each of my compassionate ones, up to your knees in mud in our trenches, thank you for hearing my heart, and speaking my language.         

Beauty From the Ashes

We put together a scratch vocal of a song I wrote late last year about our adoption process.  This was our first go at GarageBand (we don't have a studio) and we mainly just wanted to get it down.  It's a very rough recording, but I hope it can be an encouragement to others who are waiting.  I had only posted it on our private blog originally, but with everything going on in our lives right now, I just wanted to remind myself that He brings beauty from the ashes.

Come Home  
original words and music copyrighted

I remember the moment
When I first knew you were waiting for me
And I saw my road to you
Led between parted walls of pounding sea

Half a world apart
As your story is written page by page
And we're dreaming of the moment
When He says "This is the day"
When He brings

Beauty from the ashes
And makes you his own
Gathered from the nations
He's bringing you home

A bittersweet aching
Loved before I ever saw your face
You are worth every battle
May God bring us to the place
Where He brings 

Beauty from the ashes
And makes you his own
Gathered from the nations
He's bringing you home
 
You are not forgotten
You are not alone
The victory's won
Your shackles undone
And you're coming home

'Cause He brings
Beauty from the ashes
And makes you his own
Gathered from the nations
He's bringing you 
So please come home
Please come home  

The Strangeness of Joy

The more I dig into Eucharisteo, the more I realize that Joy is a strange and wonderful thing.  We know that it should not be based on circumstances, but I've found it a comfort to realize that it truly doesn't have anything to do with feelings either.  You can be sitting in a downpour of life (which has been both a literal and a metaphorical reality for me today), soaking the ground even more with your own tears, begging the storm to subside... and still have authentic, untarnished joy deep down inside of you.  

It's that tiny voice in your heart saying, "Blessed be your Name," even as the tears fall and you sob for mercy.  

It's the lament taken before the Lord versus the complaint hurled in his face.  

It's trusting that He sees the rest of the story, when you can't see past that massive question mark.

It's breathing in grace and breathing out surrender when the inbox is still empty, the lines of communication, silent.

It's embracing the waiting, the pain, the labor that seems never ending, that you think just might kill you on the inside, all for the joy set before you.

Dearheart, don't let the enemy bow your shoulders with guilt for feeling sad, angry, frustrated, or alone.  It's balm to a wounded soul to acknowledge those hurts, to take them to Him.  Would you want your little ones to bind up their own wounds when they are in pain?  No, you delight in scooping them up in your arms, in soothing the ache, in calming their sobs.  Let Him.

And know that Joy is still there, that little seed deep in your soul, where something has to die to live... where we have to die to truly live.  Dying in all these little moments hurts; it's agonizing.  But the harvest is Joy.   

   

Sometimes busy is good

To tell you the truth, I've been holding on for dear life the past several weeks.  I knew they were going to be hard, and with packing all of our possessions, a trip to Moldova, jet lag, moving, and everything in between, I was right.  But even with the fatigue that comes along with all of that, I'll admit that there is a part of me that appreciates the idea of having something to do.  N comes by her wiggles honestly; I've never been one to hold still for very long.  I've learned a lot about being still and listening in my spiritual walk, although I believe that is a lifelong journey.  But generally, I am happiest when I am active.  

Now we're in a holding pattern.  Waiting... again... to start construction on our house, to start building the things that are going to fill that house, to hear some good news from a committee on the other side of the world who has decided that we would, in fact, be a great family for JP.  Part of me is very glad they do this.  They need to protect these children.  The other part of me is thinking that even with all our quirks, I'm pretty sure Casa S tops an orphanage any day, and they know that by now.  Soooo, yes, you should stop wasting days, weeks, and months of her life and let her come home to her family.

I know that when I can't see the bigger picture, He can, and He is the one orchestrating this crazy adventure.  I don't understand why three and a half months after closing on our property, when we thought we would be getting pretty close to moving into our farmhouse, we haven't even been able to start it yet.  We keep waiting on another government official to place their stamp of approval on our life, just as we continue to wait for a government official to say we can have our child.  Maybe it's happening for a reason.  I'm confident He can use it for good.  But I confess, it still makes me feel red-headed right now.  In the meantime, I would give an awful lot to be able to fire up my saw and go build some cabinets.  At least it would distract me from checking my email for updates every few seconds.  Bureaucracy is just kind of slapping us in the face on all fronts right now.  We have been joking (because let's face it, sometimes you have to laugh, or just cry like a baby) that we are wrapped up in enough red tape to look like a walking Christmas present.  We have some pretty amazing gifts to unwrap, that's for sure.  Definitely worth waiting for.  But still, no matter how much experience you have waiting, or how much you grow in the process, it is never, EVER easy. 

Consider the sea parted

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me!"

I have watched my Father make a way in the wilderness countless times over the past 22 months.  At some times, I walked through fire to see the blessing, and at others, He sent completely unexpected gifts.  Well, I've got a big one to add to the gifts list.

Many of you know that we rather unexpectedly sold our house.  It was unexpected because we had not yet put it on the market!  So not only did we skip putting it on the market and only clean for one showing (a miracle in and of itself with dogs and a preschooler in the mix), but we completed the entire transaction without any realtor fees.  We closed the deal last week, and I've been waiting to see how everything settled out financially since I knew that we would be netting more than we had anticipated.  My hubby said some pretty magical words to me today:  Our estimated travel expenses are COVERED.  Like fully and completely... covered.  Done.  Taken care of.  Commence celebrating!

We have prayed and prayed asking the Lord to make a way to get JP home, and after working our tails off for nearly two years, He drops this little beauty on us.  I wouldn't change the fire walks - not for a minute- every excruciating moment of suffering thus far and yet to come have only served to soften me, and to draw me into the heart of my good, good Father.  I don't view suffering with dread like I used to.  It's not like I'm jumping up and down with excitement every time I have a trial to walk through, and you will probably see me beating my head against the wall or sobbing into a pillow at times, but He is teaching me to approach this life, to approach HIM, with open hands.  Hands that are open to accept the suffering and the joy, because I can't know him without knowing both of those things.  Yes, they are both grace.

But this time, I got to open my hands and receive a gift of complete provision.  Simply joy.  Simply love.

We are nearly halfway to having each of our puzzle pieces with a name attached.  We have decided to go ahead and, God willing, finish it out.  We need 500 more pieces at $10 a piece.  JP has a specific special need that is chronic, and will need immediate and ongoing care.  The remaining puzzle pieces will bring in $5,000, which just happens to be the deductible we have to hit before insurance will start helping us out with JP's medical expenses.  We are expecting to spend that in a pretty short period of time after she gets home with all of the appointments she will have in general, and also with a specialist for her specific medical needs.  If you or someone you know would like to be a part of that, we humbly and gratefully thank you for your support.  The Lord has made it very clear that He has called us to this sweet girl, and that He will make a way to provide for her needs.  We are so thankful to everyone who has supported us in so many ways on this journey thus far: family, friends, complete strangers... it is truly amazing to see everything coming together after all this time.  

"Bless the LORD, O my soul..."

I-800 and Article 5, DONE!

I think I'm just going to have to accept the fact that once a month updates are about as good as it's going to get right now.  I don't know where June has gone, and July is going to be even more insane.  

We do have some fantastic news on the adoption front, though, and it deserves to be recorded!  We got our I-800 in the mail last Saturday (June 15).  We had been waiting about a month for that, so I was thrilled to have it in hand so that I could complete the next step, and the last bit of paperwork on our side of things for a while.  As soon as I had that (and I mean that literally), I scanned it and our DS-230 application to email to the embassy in New Delhi.  The I-800 gives us permission from USCIS to bring JP into the country.  The embassy will be issuing her visa to us when we are there.  They would have gotten my email on Monday morning, I sent a second request on Wednesday (their suggestion after waiting two business days), and I woke up this morning (Friday) to Article 5 in my inbox!  If only every piece of paperwork could be done so quickly via email!  

That means we are finally able to join the queue for ARC approval in her state.  We have not heard promising things from others who have waited in this state, but we have also heard that the head of CARA recently made a trip to "encourage" the committee to move things along.  Our acquaintance who had been waiting a super long time got her approval yesterday.  I'm hoping that means we're getting in line at the right time, when things are starting to gain momentum.  Our agency has not had families wait longer than four months for approval, but none of them were in our state.  We're just hoping and praying that this part moves forward efficiently and without any hold ups.  Once we get past state and federal level approvals and are granted NOC (No Objection Certificate), they cannot assign JP to another Indian family.  Our agency has a great relationship with the RIPA, so I don't see that happening, but it would still be nice to have it in writing.  It's not like any part of this journey has been predictable!

There are several other unexpected changes happening simultaneously that I've saved for the private blog, but let it just be said that this month and the coming month are bursting at the seams.  I'll be in Moldova two weeks from today, and at this point, I'm just praying I remember to pack everything... and take my suitcase to the airport.  What a wild ride!  I'm literally overwhelmed by blessings (Can you see my eye twitching and hear my hysterical laughter?).  At this point, I have no clue what's coming next, but I'm just going to throw my hands in the air and enjoy the ride.  He certainly knows what He's doing!    

Catch up and Miracles

I know I am falling down on the job here, but the past month has gotten away from me.  I was not expecting the post-referral paperwork to be quite as intense as it has been.  We waited nearly two months to get JP's child study report from her RIPA.  I admit, I was stalking the mailbox like a vulture and emailing our agency every single week asking for an update.  I will never understand how it can take so long to put a document that is already on hand into the mail!  Thankfully, we received it last week.  I went without food for the majority of that Monday as I scurried around from Walgreens, to notaries, to county clerks, to the Secretary of State, to the post office, but by golly, I got that paperwork back in the mail the same day.  Then I started filling out paperwork for USCIS to allow JP admittance into the US.  I had everything done on our side, and just got our final documents in the mail from our agency today to complete the application.  Tomorrow is Sunday, so it will have to wait a day, but then it will be in the mail to USCIS, and we will pray for a speedy approval.  

There are a few more comings and goings between the US embassy and us after that comes through, but then we are in line for the infamous ARC approval in India.  That just means a regional committee decides that they don't have an objection to our adopting JP.  This is a fairly new step, and we are seeing other families in our Indian state who have been waiting 8-10 months and counting for this approval.  Not a good sign.  So we are already praying for divine intervention, that our case would fly through ARC approval with record speed.  Please pray with us!!!

For now, for this moment, I want to focus on thanksgiving, though.  Because there has already been a miracle this week.  As you know, we've been sharing our puzzle fund raiser as a means of finishing out our final adoption fee, and getting started on our travel expenses.  We were still about $1,650 away from being back in the black, and I'll admit, I was stressed... to the point of having tension headaches and muscle spasms in my neck and right shoulder.  I knew deep down that the Lord would provide, but I do NOT like being in the hole... owing money.  We just don't do debt.  We were at about 212 puzzle pieces, which was awesome!  But yesterday... oh yesterday.  I checked the mail late in the afternoon and found a hand addressed envelope with no name or return address.  I opened it and found a single white sheet that read, "For Adoption Fund Matthew 6:33..." and money orders totaling $2,000.  What?!?!  "Seek first his kingdom..."  And all these things have been given to us as well.  That's right, friends.  Our final adoption fee is COVERED!  And, nearly all of the fee for updating our paperwork in the fall when we move has been taken care of as well.  Praise the Lord!!! I am still in shock.  I felt like the early church who prayed so fervently for Peter's release from prison, but were totally surprised when he showed up at the door!  The pain and spasms in my neck and shoulder immediately stopped as if a massive weight had literally been lifted off of me.  Now, we can start saving for our travel expenses.  I pray that we need them by the end of the year, but I can only trust that JP will come home exactly when she is supposed to.  And I can only trust that the Lord will blow me away again and provide the $10,000 that we will need for travel.  I have no idea how that will happen, but I know that it will.  So there is yet another miracle in this journey, yet another confirmation that our sweet girl will come home, and that He will make our way straight.  All glory to God.

Yard Sale Number Two, Success!

If you have ever put on a yard sale, you feel my pain right now... right between the shoulder blades.  No complaints, though, because we had such a great day.  I swore I would never do another yard sale after the first one we did when we started the adoption process, but that just goes to show you that you should never say never!  When we found out we were moving, it just made sense to have a sale to sell the stuff we didn't want to move, and our family and friends were so generous to donate as well.  It was a long day, and I am beyond exhausted with a seriously sunburned face, but we purged the house for the move and added $1,059 to the adoption fund in the process!  Awesome!

My parents took a whole van-load home with them and they are having yet another sale the first weekend of May.  Between that and the few larger items we kept to put on craigslist, we might just crack $1,500!  At this point, we are only about $1,650 from the adoption fund being back in the black.  I know the Lord will continue to make a way.  For now, I'm going to take a hot bath and go to bed early with gratitude in my heart for the sweet family and friends who stood with us today, and for the Lord always making a way... always.   

Be a Piece of the Puzzle

I only have one picture of my Lotus Bud, but I have learned it by heart.  After we sent the final agency payment off this week and our finally-in-the-black adoption fund plummeted back into red, I realized my breathing had become shallower, my heart rate a little more rapid.  

"O you of little faith."

I love that He comforts and reassures me like a child.  He hasn't stopped making a way.  I just haven't seen today's manna yet.

I look at this picture and pray He is also reassuring my daughter that she is loved and cared for, even before she knows that she has a family waiting for her.  I want her to remember that always: that we aren't loving her because no one else would, but because she is worthy of love.  She is delighted in, rejoiced over simply because she is intrinsically precious.

Would you like to be part of that reminder?

I am having a giant jigsaw puzzle made with her picture, and those words of love written across it.  Each $10 donation will add a piece to the puzzle, and everyone who donates a puzzle piece(s) will have their names written on the back of the finished picture.  We will frame it, and she will always have it as a reminder that even when she was still on the other side of the globe, there were hundreds of people here who loved her, cared for her, cheered her on, and wanted her home with her forever family.  And finishing the puzzle will also give us the last boost we need to complete our funding.  This is it, the final push to knock out that barrier.  It will be a constant reminder to us of how blessed we are to have you, our "village" behind us as we bring our daughter home, and how a way was always provided right when we needed it.  And it will be a constant reminder to her that she is worth fighting for.  

If you would like to be a tangible piece of the puzzle, you can click the "Donate" button in the top right corner of our blog, or if you prefer to mail a check directly to us, please contact me at nightingale251 at gmail dot com.  You can donate one piece or multiple pieces based on where you are and what you feel led to do.  Please also share this link on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, by email, word of mouth... and anywhere else you can think of!  Most people drop $10 without thinking about it for coffee, ice cream, or lunch out, so the hope in this project is that it offers an approachable way to be involved for just about anyone.  The key to this will be getting the word out to as many folks as possible, so shout it out! 

 

I can't post the picture on a public blog until LB is legally declared to be ours by the Indian court in her region, but you can see her sweet eyes.  I see a deep, deep heart in those soul windows.  I can't wait to see them in person, when we are face to face for the first time.

          

Making a Way

What a week it has been!  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all of it, but every time I think of all the Lord has done in the past few weeks I just want to fall on my face and worship.  Watching Him move, orchestrate, and provide for every detail has been mind blowing.  We will need to pay our final agency fee of $5,450 as soon as we receive and sign LB's official child study report.  That will make our referral complete.  After a surprise donation the night before we were officially matched with her on the government website, we now only need $4,288.63.  That may sound like a lot of money, but I have no doubt that the Lord will continue to make a way for us to bring our daughter home.  In the past 16 months we have earned and raised just under $20,000!!!  Is that amazing or what??  Once we pay this final fee, our final pre-adoption expense will be travel, and we are hoping some of that might be offset by donated frequent flyer miles and hotel points.  One step at a time, though.  The Lord is providing as we need it.

We have had another miracle arise only three days after being matched with our daughter.  We have always dreamed of living on a mini farm, in a simple farmhouse with a big garden and lots of room to run and play.  Well, that is going to become a reality much sooner than we imagined!  The land we dreamed of nearly fell into our laps, completely unexpectedly.  We will be closing on the property in May, and building our little farmhouse.  The amazing thing is, this will actually lower our mortgage and monthly expenses, which will open up more resources for us to care for LB once she's home.  We were not originally expecting to be dealing with a long-term medical need, and the extra expenses will continue after she's home, but once again, God knew exactly what was coming and is providing.  We are doing our best to be wise and prepare ourselves for the extra medical bills that will come the first few weeks with her home, getting tests and exams done, meeting with her new doctors, etc.  That being said, if you feel led to share our story or be a part of our story through giving, we offer you our sincerest gratitude.  No amount is too small!  Adoption "takes a village" in so many ways, and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes when the Lord leads someone to be a part of caring for the fatherless by helping a family bring their little one home.

The Lord has done so much already that we want to shout it from the rooftops for all the world to hear!  What an amazing story He is writing!  I feel so humbled and blessed to be a part of it.  He is amazing!   

LB and ETAs

Can I just say that it is glorious to have enough good things to tell to be blogging multiple times in a day??  That is a really nice change!

So many of you have asked to hear more about our daughter, and when we will get to bring her home.  I have to be pretty careful about what I put on a public blog, but a friend is working on a way to have a password protected place for pictures for us.  What I can tell you is that she is four years old, only 13 months older than Li'l Bit.  And the funny thing is, I've had several people look at LB's picture and tell me she looks like her!  Of course, she has different hair and eyes, but similar facial features and expression.  And those eyes... there is so much heart in them.  Until we get an online picture source set up, I will happily show her to anyone I see!  Please feel free to give me a reason to whip out my phone and show you this beautiful face!

As far as when she will come home, well, that is the question.  We will hear more details from our agency soon, but here are the basics as I understand them.

1.) Approval from a state level committee in India

2.) NOC (No Objection Certificate) from CARA (federal approval)

3.) Wait for a court date and then pass court

4.) Orphange applies for her passport

5.) Once passport is received, we can travel

6.) Apply for visa while we're in India and bring our daughter home!

That looks like a short list, but our agency's estimated time frame for that when we got started was 9-12 months.  Cases in India vary so much it is down right crazy.  I know families who have completed their entire adoption process in a year, beginning to end.  I also know people who have been matched with their children for two years or more and still haven't traveled.  Obviously, we are praying that things are expedited as much as possible.  But I will say this, I have learned the hard way that even when I don't understand the reasons, the Lord is perfectly orchestrating every single tiny detail of this journey, and my eyes are on HIM.  In the meantime, we have the joy of finally being able to paint a bedroom, prepare our home, finish out the rest of our funding, shop for clothes and other fun things, learn Hindi (hehe), and any other possibilities that come to mind to get ready for our daughter's homecoming.  The toughest part for me will be spreading it out!  I am so excited!     

    

More Miracles!

My heart is hammering and my hands are shaking so much I can barely type.  My friends, count it ALL JOY when you endure trials of many kinds.  There is nothing like seeing that massive, jagged mountain blasted out of the way on the other side.  

We were hesitant at first to share the news about our Lotus Bud with everyone.  Of course, I said nothing to our general acquaintance until Husband and I were united in purpose to pursue this little beauty, but even afterward, our thought was to wait until things were "paper" official to share the news.  Two days ago, the Lord asked me why.  What are you waiting for?  I have given you the battle; what is holding you back?  Why are you waiting to rejoice?  Victorious Worship.  It was just the last vestiges of subtle fear... fear that it might fall through, that we might not get through all the red tape before the sixty day hold on her file was up.  Well, we decided to chuck fear out and shout it from the rooftops yesterday.  We hadn't seen the final outcome, but we knew that victory, Victory was ours.  It was just another leap of faith.

You all rejoiced with us, and it was so beautiful!  Thank you!

Husband and I were talking about what we needed to do to come up with the next adoption fee.  We are finally at the point where everything we've done has been covered, but in order to accept LB's referral, we would need another $5,450.  Last night, after posting our blog, I checked my email to discover an unexpected donation of $1,000!!  If I cry anymore tears, my eyes just might puff shut.  And I knew right then that God was providing because we were going to need it soon.  

Guess what?

We got an email from our agency today that they received word while we were all sleeping last night, that we are pending on the Special Needs list, and that our agency could go ahead and match us with LB... which they did a few minutes ago.  Friends, this was taking months for other families, and God did it in less than a week from the time our agency requested it.

We are officially matched with our daughter!!!