Be a Piece of the Puzzle

I only have one picture of my Lotus Bud, but I have learned it by heart.  After we sent the final agency payment off this week and our finally-in-the-black adoption fund plummeted back into red, I realized my breathing had become shallower, my heart rate a little more rapid.  

"O you of little faith."

I love that He comforts and reassures me like a child.  He hasn't stopped making a way.  I just haven't seen today's manna yet.

I look at this picture and pray He is also reassuring my daughter that she is loved and cared for, even before she knows that she has a family waiting for her.  I want her to remember that always: that we aren't loving her because no one else would, but because she is worthy of love.  She is delighted in, rejoiced over simply because she is intrinsically precious.

Would you like to be part of that reminder?

I am having a giant jigsaw puzzle made with her picture, and those words of love written across it.  Each $10 donation will add a piece to the puzzle, and everyone who donates a puzzle piece(s) will have their names written on the back of the finished picture.  We will frame it, and she will always have it as a reminder that even when she was still on the other side of the globe, there were hundreds of people here who loved her, cared for her, cheered her on, and wanted her home with her forever family.  And finishing the puzzle will also give us the last boost we need to complete our funding.  This is it, the final push to knock out that barrier.  It will be a constant reminder to us of how blessed we are to have you, our "village" behind us as we bring our daughter home, and how a way was always provided right when we needed it.  And it will be a constant reminder to her that she is worth fighting for.  

If you would like to be a tangible piece of the puzzle, you can click the "Donate" button in the top right corner of our blog, or if you prefer to mail a check directly to us, please contact me at nightingale251 at gmail dot com.  You can donate one piece or multiple pieces based on where you are and what you feel led to do.  Please also share this link on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, by email, word of mouth... and anywhere else you can think of!  Most people drop $10 without thinking about it for coffee, ice cream, or lunch out, so the hope in this project is that it offers an approachable way to be involved for just about anyone.  The key to this will be getting the word out to as many folks as possible, so shout it out! 

 

I can't post the picture on a public blog until LB is legally declared to be ours by the Indian court in her region, but you can see her sweet eyes.  I see a deep, deep heart in those soul windows.  I can't wait to see them in person, when we are face to face for the first time.

          

Making a Way

What a week it has been!  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all of it, but every time I think of all the Lord has done in the past few weeks I just want to fall on my face and worship.  Watching Him move, orchestrate, and provide for every detail has been mind blowing.  We will need to pay our final agency fee of $5,450 as soon as we receive and sign LB's official child study report.  That will make our referral complete.  After a surprise donation the night before we were officially matched with her on the government website, we now only need $4,288.63.  That may sound like a lot of money, but I have no doubt that the Lord will continue to make a way for us to bring our daughter home.  In the past 16 months we have earned and raised just under $20,000!!!  Is that amazing or what??  Once we pay this final fee, our final pre-adoption expense will be travel, and we are hoping some of that might be offset by donated frequent flyer miles and hotel points.  One step at a time, though.  The Lord is providing as we need it.

We have had another miracle arise only three days after being matched with our daughter.  We have always dreamed of living on a mini farm, in a simple farmhouse with a big garden and lots of room to run and play.  Well, that is going to become a reality much sooner than we imagined!  The land we dreamed of nearly fell into our laps, completely unexpectedly.  We will be closing on the property in May, and building our little farmhouse.  The amazing thing is, this will actually lower our mortgage and monthly expenses, which will open up more resources for us to care for LB once she's home.  We were not originally expecting to be dealing with a long-term medical need, and the extra expenses will continue after she's home, but once again, God knew exactly what was coming and is providing.  We are doing our best to be wise and prepare ourselves for the extra medical bills that will come the first few weeks with her home, getting tests and exams done, meeting with her new doctors, etc.  That being said, if you feel led to share our story or be a part of our story through giving, we offer you our sincerest gratitude.  No amount is too small!  Adoption "takes a village" in so many ways, and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes when the Lord leads someone to be a part of caring for the fatherless by helping a family bring their little one home.

The Lord has done so much already that we want to shout it from the rooftops for all the world to hear!  What an amazing story He is writing!  I feel so humbled and blessed to be a part of it.  He is amazing!   

LB and ETAs

Can I just say that it is glorious to have enough good things to tell to be blogging multiple times in a day??  That is a really nice change!

So many of you have asked to hear more about our daughter, and when we will get to bring her home.  I have to be pretty careful about what I put on a public blog, but a friend is working on a way to have a password protected place for pictures for us.  What I can tell you is that she is four years old, only 13 months older than Li'l Bit.  And the funny thing is, I've had several people look at LB's picture and tell me she looks like her!  Of course, she has different hair and eyes, but similar facial features and expression.  And those eyes... there is so much heart in them.  Until we get an online picture source set up, I will happily show her to anyone I see!  Please feel free to give me a reason to whip out my phone and show you this beautiful face!

As far as when she will come home, well, that is the question.  We will hear more details from our agency soon, but here are the basics as I understand them.

1.) Approval from a state level committee in India

2.) NOC (No Objection Certificate) from CARA (federal approval)

3.) Wait for a court date and then pass court

4.) Orphange applies for her passport

5.) Once passport is received, we can travel

6.) Apply for visa while we're in India and bring our daughter home!

That looks like a short list, but our agency's estimated time frame for that when we got started was 9-12 months.  Cases in India vary so much it is down right crazy.  I know families who have completed their entire adoption process in a year, beginning to end.  I also know people who have been matched with their children for two years or more and still haven't traveled.  Obviously, we are praying that things are expedited as much as possible.  But I will say this, I have learned the hard way that even when I don't understand the reasons, the Lord is perfectly orchestrating every single tiny detail of this journey, and my eyes are on HIM.  In the meantime, we have the joy of finally being able to paint a bedroom, prepare our home, finish out the rest of our funding, shop for clothes and other fun things, learn Hindi (hehe), and any other possibilities that come to mind to get ready for our daughter's homecoming.  The toughest part for me will be spreading it out!  I am so excited!     

    

More Miracles!

My heart is hammering and my hands are shaking so much I can barely type.  My friends, count it ALL JOY when you endure trials of many kinds.  There is nothing like seeing that massive, jagged mountain blasted out of the way on the other side.  

We were hesitant at first to share the news about our Lotus Bud with everyone.  Of course, I said nothing to our general acquaintance until Husband and I were united in purpose to pursue this little beauty, but even afterward, our thought was to wait until things were "paper" official to share the news.  Two days ago, the Lord asked me why.  What are you waiting for?  I have given you the battle; what is holding you back?  Why are you waiting to rejoice?  Victorious Worship.  It was just the last vestiges of subtle fear... fear that it might fall through, that we might not get through all the red tape before the sixty day hold on her file was up.  Well, we decided to chuck fear out and shout it from the rooftops yesterday.  We hadn't seen the final outcome, but we knew that victory, Victory was ours.  It was just another leap of faith.

You all rejoiced with us, and it was so beautiful!  Thank you!

Husband and I were talking about what we needed to do to come up with the next adoption fee.  We are finally at the point where everything we've done has been covered, but in order to accept LB's referral, we would need another $5,450.  Last night, after posting our blog, I checked my email to discover an unexpected donation of $1,000!!  If I cry anymore tears, my eyes just might puff shut.  And I knew right then that God was providing because we were going to need it soon.  

Guess what?

We got an email from our agency today that they received word while we were all sleeping last night, that we are pending on the Special Needs list, and that our agency could go ahead and match us with LB... which they did a few minutes ago.  Friends, this was taking months for other families, and God did it in less than a week from the time our agency requested it.

We are officially matched with our daughter!!!          

Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Thanksgiving always precedes the miracle.  That has been my constant reminder this past month to keep looking for the gifts in each day.  And the miracle followed as promised... joy!  I almost did not dare to believe that the specific miracle I had been praying for would follow so quickly.  But it did.

I asked the Lord just after Christmas, "How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?" My humble lament garnered this response, "Two months."  Pardon?  Was that you or did I just imagine that?  I opened my hands, holding my hopes loosely, and prayed.  Eucharisteo followed.  A life of thanksgiving and worship.  And then, nearly two months later, February 26th, to be exact...

February 26: I opened a forgotten fortune cookie that morning and my eyes fell on this: 

I smiled to myself.  I know, it's just a fortune cookie, but I never cease to be amazed at the tiny, detailed gifts the Lord gives just to remind me how much He loves me.  I felt warm all over, even hopeful.  He knew I would need it.  That night, we got news that at the international Meet with CARA, orphanages were each reporting 100-300 domestic waiting families, and over 1,000 total international families waiting.  Those 1,000 families were spread out between only 70 orphanages licensed to do international adoptions, and they also had hundreds of domestic families waiting.  We started praying specifically, asking God if this was a test and we were to stay the course, or a sign to move in a different direction.  I was very discouraged, but that morning, the Lord had taken me to Hebrews 11, and reminded me that by faith, Abraham went to the place where he was called, though he did not know where he was going.  He was also willing to sacrifice his son, the fulfillment of God's promise, by faith, because he knew that God could even raise the dead.  Hope.

February 27: My mom gave me a verse from II Chronicles 20, and I read the whole chapter that morning.  "For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."  The Israelites fasted and prayed, and the Spirit revealed that the battle was not theirs, but the Lord's.  They marched out, with men worshiping and giving thanks at the forefront, and the enemy fell without the Israelites ever lifting a sword.  Then later, when I flipped open World magazine, the first words that popped out to me were "Adopting Out - Not giving up."

February 28: I spent the day fasting and praying.  We felt God speaking clearly that we were to trust Him and stay the course in India.

March 1: Exactly one year after being registered with India's government, the Lord moved the mountain.  We got an email from our agency telling us of a four year old girl whose case they came across while in India for the Meet.  She had a diagnosis that was a little scary, definitely outside what we had originally envisioned a year and a half ago when we started this process.  My sweet husband was not on board, but even without a picture, my heart was hammering in my chest.  Ask more.  This is it!  He agreed to ask for more information.  I looked up her name that night.  Want to guess what it means?  Worship.

March 2: I shared all of this with my immediate family and talked with another IndiMama (who had, only days before, shared about their journey trying to bring home a child with the exact same need).  I was amazed by how receptive everyone was to this possibility.  My mom printed out this sweet girl's picture to put in her Bible to pray for her.  My sister told me later that when she opened the picture, it never occurred to her that we would not bring this little girl home.

March 3: I continued to do research on this medical need to remove the fear factor from our decision about whether or not to pursue this precious child.  We prayed for future tests, for healing, but also discovered that many of our initial concerns would not be anywhere near the obstacles we originally thought they would be.  We scheduled a conference call with our agency for the next day to see what the next steps would be for getting further tests.  This same day, two "random" people (who were unaware of our situation) shared the same positive article about this need.  More hope.

March 4: I read I Peter 1.  "...for a little while you may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials" so that my faith can be proven genuine and result in "praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed..."

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." (emphasis mine)  In 1,000 Gifts, the author digs into the story of the one leper out of ten who returned to thank Jesus for healing him.  Jesus told him, after being physically healed, that his faith had made him well, whole, sozo in the Greek... salvation.  Giving thanks, living a life of thanks is living in the fullness of my salvation.  

We talked to our agency that afternoon and discussed getting further medical exams done, and what our next steps would be if we went forward.  We would have to get the Indian government to switch us to the different orphanage, and change our status to "special needs" before our agency could even link us with this child.  Husband was still saying he didn't know yet if she was ours, but if she was, a way would be made no matter what the test results were.  In my heart I knew, but I was still waiting for the final word of discernment, of confirmation from my husband... and without me saying a word, I was watching the Lord speak softly to him as well and change his heart.  

            March 7:  We received medical information that was in favor of the original diagnosis.  Even after that, Husband was still willing to pray and seek the Lord.

March 8-10: I had the unexpected opportunity to go to an adoptive moms' retreat, and it was a godsend.  We were able to seek the Lord separately in the ways that fit us best and come back together to make a decision afterward.  The weekend was incredible, and I even got to sit through a breakout session specific to the medical need we would be working with should we pursue this child.  The most amazing part, though, was my Date with God time.  I was looking forward to it, expecting God to speak into our decision.  I had already seen so many confirmations, but I was still waiting for the final word, what God was putting on Husband's heart.  

Back story: We tried for about nine months to get pregnant with Li'l Bit, and when that stick finally showed positive, the verse that immediately burst forth in my heart was from Psalm 103, "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me."  That was four years ago.  When I first read our agency's email about this sweet girl, my heart burst with the same words.  

During morning worship on the Saturday of the retreat, tears slid down my face as we sang those words.  Even a good friend, unaware of its significance, had posted that verse on my FB page days earlier.  Date with God was set up with different stations where we could paint, sculpt, draw, sit quietly, receive prayer, read Scripture, pray over a world map, or go to a table for a Scripture and a blessing.  When I asked God where He wanted me to go first, He said, "Go to the table.  Receive the gift and give thanks."  Eucharisteo.  There were about 150 different Scriptures rolled up into tiny scrolls.  I went to the table, picked up a scroll, and walked up to one of the women for a blessing.  I can't even remember what she said, but it was perfect.  As I wandered away, I opened the scroll, unwound the paper, and looked down at the words, "Bless the LORD, O my soul..."

I came home from that retreat and told Husband that I loved this girl, and I wanted her to be part of our family, but that I loved him second only to God, and I would follow where he led.  He promised a decision the next day, and it was a glory-filled moment to see him look me in the eyes, smile, and say, "I believe we should do this."  In nine days, the Lord had softened him from complete resistance to complete surrender.  I am so thankful for a husband who is willing to set aside fear, seek and listen for the voice of God, and then walk in the path set before his feet.

And so, after 16 long months, we are finally pursuing our daughter.  Our daughter!!!  I can pray for her by name, and what a glorious name it is.  The name we chose for her 16 months ago means "victory."  When you combine it with her given name, it reads Victorious Worship.  How specific He is in the minute details of his gifts!

The paperwork may not be in place yet.  We are not officially matched with our Lotus Bud, but we know that she is ours, and we know that the battle belongs to the Lord.  We will walk out to meet the challenges to come with worship and thanksgiving on our lips, and we will see victory.  Victorious Worship.  Thanksgiving always precedes the miracle.