Broken

Oh, how my heart cries for peace.  We are so close to the finish, and the battle has gotten fiercer than I could possibly have imagined.  From rain and mud, to one little delay after another, to failed inspections, and then a massive blow... one of the people working on the house nearly losing her life in a horrible car accident on the way home from work last night.  I am devastated for her and her family.  And while we are even more grateful for our physical well being after all that, I am keenly aware that my family is less than two weeks away from Christmas, and within a few days after that, we will have no place to live if we can't move into the house.  We keep praying and begging for miracles, and the Lord has provided our daily manna, but interspersed between all of those miracles, the enemy is constantly chipping away, and then sometimes lands massive blows.

At this point, we are hoping to retry for our final electrical inspection on Monday, and then basically throw ourselves on the mercy of the county, explain our situation, and pray that they are either willing to give us our CO or go ahead and move in without it until the weather cooperates for us to do the final concrete and blocking for the retaining wall.  I did speak with the inspector responsible for passing the grading, and after hearing our situation, told me he would do everything he can to help us get in the house.  That was so encouraging, and the Lord knew how badly I needed a word of encouragement.

I just don't even know how I am functioning at this point, aside from God's grace.  I have no words left.  I have nights when I cry until I can't breathe, but much of the time, I just feel numb.  Like I've just shut down because I can't process it all.  And I just keep putting my head down and jumping through hoops, trying to do whatever I need to do to help my family get home, so we can bring her home.  Oh Jesus, we need you to fight for us now.  We need you to carry us.  We need you to move the mountains.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.