Yes, that is what I need to do right now: breathe. Breathe and trust. I am trying to be efficient (with undertones of panic) these days. So many amazing things have happened. I've seen so many mountains moved. Still, it seems like some days, my faith is the tiniest of mustard seeds, but even at that, He has never failed to bless when I bring what little I have.
We closed on the house in town this past Tuesday, November 26. We had desperately prayed that we would at least have a contract on the house by Thanksgiving, and we closed two days before, for more than our asking price. Definitely a miracle.
On the adoption front, things were not as simple as wiring the fee and being done with it, but many phone calls and emails later, I was finally able to mail our court document and fee today, along with the photo book I made for JP.
The horrible suspense factor in all of this is surprisingly not adoption related. At this point, we are simply waiting on written court documents and her passport, and then we are ready to go as far as Ind*a is concerned. The certificate of occupancy on the farmhouse, however, seems to always be the dangling carrot rather than the reality. We had first anticipated moving in October after closing on the land May 1st, but major delays on breaking ground made that impossible. Then, the goal was the end of November. Obviously, that is about to come and go. Then, it was the first or second week of December. We will be lucky to be in by mid-December. We have to be in by mid-December. Because the reality is, we can't travel until we have moved. Our lease is up at the end of December. And we're darn close to running into holiday hangups with the county.
I believe that there is plan in all of this, but I am completely in the dark on it. I have no idea why it is working out this way, no idea why it is necessary to cut it so close that I am about to chew my fingernails to the quick. All I know to do is take it a day at a time and trust that manna will be given. One minute I hear, "We'll make it!" and the next, "Don't get your hopes up." Well, hope is all I have. It's all I've had for a long time. If I lose that, I've lost everything. But hope can be exhausting when it's stretched so thin you can see through it. There's not much left. Normally, I would be playing Christmas music and decorating the tree today, the day after Thanksgiving. But I'm not. I'm sitting in a drafty apartment bedroom wondering when I will get to celebrate being home with my little family. It's not about a building. It's about a place that's ours, our own little safe haven where I can nest and create, and make things beautiful. This is the desert. This is limbo. The Promised Land is within sight, but there is one more sea to cross. And there is only One who can part the waters.
I am praying for you!! You are near the finish line so anything and everything that can go wrong, will. Believe me. Before my first trip to Hyderabad, my refrigerator broke while I was at school and somehow all the frozen fruit leaked it's beautiful juices onto my kitchen floor :) Before the second trip, my bank card was hacked. I don't have credit cards so this was VITAL and they couldn't guarantee that I would get the new one before I left. Then, while I was in country picking up Munni, my dog almost died. Satan HATES that you are so close to picking up sweet JP that he has his disgusting fingers tangled in your affairs trying to make the biggest mess possible. Keep praying, keep trusting. You have tons of people praying for you!!!!
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