Sometimes busy is good

To tell you the truth, I've been holding on for dear life the past several weeks.  I knew they were going to be hard, and with packing all of our possessions, a trip to Moldova, jet lag, moving, and everything in between, I was right.  But even with the fatigue that comes along with all of that, I'll admit that there is a part of me that appreciates the idea of having something to do.  N comes by her wiggles honestly; I've never been one to hold still for very long.  I've learned a lot about being still and listening in my spiritual walk, although I believe that is a lifelong journey.  But generally, I am happiest when I am active.  

Now we're in a holding pattern.  Waiting... again... to start construction on our house, to start building the things that are going to fill that house, to hear some good news from a committee on the other side of the world who has decided that we would, in fact, be a great family for JP.  Part of me is very glad they do this.  They need to protect these children.  The other part of me is thinking that even with all our quirks, I'm pretty sure Casa S tops an orphanage any day, and they know that by now.  Soooo, yes, you should stop wasting days, weeks, and months of her life and let her come home to her family.

I know that when I can't see the bigger picture, He can, and He is the one orchestrating this crazy adventure.  I don't understand why three and a half months after closing on our property, when we thought we would be getting pretty close to moving into our farmhouse, we haven't even been able to start it yet.  We keep waiting on another government official to place their stamp of approval on our life, just as we continue to wait for a government official to say we can have our child.  Maybe it's happening for a reason.  I'm confident He can use it for good.  But I confess, it still makes me feel red-headed right now.  In the meantime, I would give an awful lot to be able to fire up my saw and go build some cabinets.  At least it would distract me from checking my email for updates every few seconds.  Bureaucracy is just kind of slapping us in the face on all fronts right now.  We have been joking (because let's face it, sometimes you have to laugh, or just cry like a baby) that we are wrapped up in enough red tape to look like a walking Christmas present.  We have some pretty amazing gifts to unwrap, that's for sure.  Definitely worth waiting for.  But still, no matter how much experience you have waiting, or how much you grow in the process, it is never, EVER easy.