The more I dig into Eucharisteo, the more I realize that Joy is a strange and wonderful thing. We know that it should not be based on circumstances, but I've found it a comfort to realize that it truly doesn't have anything to do with feelings either. You can be sitting in a downpour of life (which has been both a literal and a metaphorical reality for me today), soaking the ground even more with your own tears, begging the storm to subside... and still have authentic, untarnished joy deep down inside of you.
It's that tiny voice in your heart saying, "Blessed be your Name," even as the tears fall and you sob for mercy.
It's the lament taken before the Lord versus the complaint hurled in his face.
It's trusting that He sees the rest of the story, when you can't see past that massive question mark.
It's breathing in grace and breathing out surrender when the inbox is still empty, the lines of communication, silent.
It's embracing the waiting, the pain, the labor that seems never ending, that you think just might kill you on the inside, all for the joy set before you.
Dearheart, don't let the enemy bow your shoulders with guilt for feeling sad, angry, frustrated, or alone. It's balm to a wounded soul to acknowledge those hurts, to take them to Him. Would you want your little ones to bind up their own wounds when they are in pain? No, you delight in scooping them up in your arms, in soothing the ache, in calming their sobs. Let Him.
And know that Joy is still there, that little seed deep in your soul, where something has to die to live... where we have to die to truly live. Dying in all these little moments hurts; it's agonizing. But the harvest is Joy.
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