Monday, February 10, 2014

To India, and back again, part 4- 2/1/14

Day three with JP brought more baby steps forward. We went out to do some shopping. We have to watch her closely, because she does not want us to hold her hands, but she will wander off if we don't keep a close eye on her. Shopping was fun, and then we headed over to the clinic again. The doctor called to let us know that the embassy would also require an X-Ray TB test. That seemed pointless, as the X-ray is only supposed to be necessary if the skin test was reactive. Still we were thankful that the doctor called and told us (which is unheard of) so we wouldn't waste time. After the X-ray, we headed back to the hotel to relax. I got out the bubbles, and JP lit up. She was laughing and chattering away all afternoon. We also started to see her ornery streak come out. That is also normal for a child from a hard place to test you with bad behavior just to see if you'll stick around. It was mostly just mischief, getting into things she knew she shouldn't, but we did have some full out defiance as well. We were so happy with the thought that we would get her test results the next day, and hopefully her visa. We were already looking at switching our flights to leave out the next night, Thursday. 

The next morning, we went back to the clinic to get JP's medical report to take to the embassy. Her skin test was fine, as was her X-ray. That's when the doctor told us that he had discovered a CDC requirement that all people with her specific medical need were also required to take the TB sputum test, no matter what. That test takes three days to collect. We were devastated. I don't think I can properly communicate how desperately S and I wanted to be home. It had been a hard week. We were exhausted. And even though the hotel staff here is AMAZING, we were ready to be in our home with both girls in one place. Our hearts have been split between two continents for far too long. 

We begged the embassy for an exemption, but they did not have the authority to give it. Only the CDC could, and we may as well have asked them to let us go to the moon. The wheels turn oh so slowly with the government, and taking the tests would be quicker than waiting for a response from the CDC. So S and I had another good cry that night, emailed my parents to tell them dad would need to take off more work, emailed our travel agent to try and change our tickets to Monday night in the hope we would have JP's visa by then. And $2,000 later we had changed our tickets and extended our stay with the hotel. 

We put our heads down to push on through, and tried to focus on enjoying our time with JP, even if we were running very short on entertainment and emotional energy. JP is two different people here: quiet and unresponsive around others, boisterous and energetic around us. I can't wait to be home where we can let her run and play in the yard and expend some of that energy! Still, as difficult as it is to be couped up in a hotel room for 10 hours a day with an energetic five year old, we are thankful that she has come out of her shell with us. She is not physically affectionate yet in the form of hugs or holding hands, but it is beautiful to see her make an effort to connect with us in other ways. She will write words, blow up a balloon, or put her jewelry on her animals and then call "Amma!" to show me what she's done. She will offer us the after dinner mints that come with room service, or help us clean things up without being asked. Even seeing her ask me for help in the bathroom or getting dressed is a very positive sign.  She may not be ready for parent-child affection, but she has begun to rely on us and trust us to provide for her very quickly. Those are excellent steps toward attachment. I look down the road even a few months and years, and dream of the child she will become. I pray the Lord gives her joy she's never even imagined, and that she finds her freedom, her identity in HIM, her heavenly Father.  

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